Quote of the day (4 July 2021) - Dream

Walt Disney held on to his belief and dreams despite suffering many setbacks and failures, it was his unwavering faith in his ideals, life experiences and the network he had built to finally succeed what he always wanted to do.

Dreams are things you believed in and visualize it with your authentic self, rid of external factors, they are one of the reasons why we have a soul. The dreams of what you speak of when you are a child or when you are in a quiet room alone are your genuine voice within yourself or your true calling. However, once you grown up or when you leave the quiet room, you are immediately expose to infinite amount of negative energy that the society will throw at you until you give up your dreams and become a slave to society standards.

In my 27 years of life, i had pour in my whole heart for two big dreams of mine, the first was to become a national team soccer player which i failed and that's why i'm chasing my second dream of being a successful (success in my own terms) singer. Want to hear some story-telling? I bet after hearing my own personal story, you might have a second thought that life had not been fair to you.

I grew up in a relatively poor family in Singapore, only child and staying a 3-room HDB flat with my parents. The kind of family i grew up in is very unique, although poor, i did not have a lack of necessary materials such as shelter, food, water and education but the things i thought i truly lack of are positive family support system, emotional uplift environment and a place to express love and kindness through words. Criticisms, belittling and verbal abuses are my daily "supplements", canning happenned very often for many things i did or said, whether right or wrong, big or small issues, it was just too confusing, therefore, i would just follow what my parents said. Everytime i try something new, maybe a new way to play my toys when i was young or new cook recipe or any new ideas i want to execute in life, my parents will use a lot of fear words to crush any hopes that my new ideas are great and made up imaginary repercussions of my actions to kill any of my thoughts of expressing creativity, which includes dreams. Even meeting new friends, my mum will have horrible tales about people to share, yikes!

I hardly had any memory of my parents saying encouragement words and/or showing support for what i love to do since young, in fact if i want to exclude school exams, i could count with one hand from the time i am concious of this world and me. After all this maybe irrelevant backstory but it certainly affect how i chased my first true dream.

I fell in love with soccer when i was 8 years old after watching 2002 World Cup, from that tournament, i told myself and parents that i want to be a professional soccer player but i was immediately shot down by saying that i am not suitable and does not provide a good future for me. I was very passionate and would play with whoever, wherever and whenever i want to after i completed school and homework but i was very afraid to try new tricks other than the few safe ones which i always can perform because i keep failing and afraid too lose face in front of my peers. Fast forward to my final year of secondary school at 16 years old, i finally caught the eye of the school team coach and i thought this could be something but i was dealt with a huge blow as the school announced that all final year students are to stop any co-curricular activities which means my dream of progressing from the school team was gone almost immediately. Suddenly, i felt tired, unmotivated and empty, like it seems that my heart is dead and tired. After 8 years of no achievement, and just when i thought there is hope, just when i thought of resisting my parents' discouragement for 8 years was worth it, it came crashing down with no warning.

I will fast forward another 4 years later, after going through a very down period of my life and wandering, i found my second passion in music, especially in singing. Since then up till the point of writing this post i am still working on my dreams and i feel that my 2nd dream will come true because of the tough lessons learned from my first dream failure:

  • I lack courage and will to try even if i failed
  • The fear of losing face makes you lose your dream faster
  • I let my own negative voices seep in and prevent my own growth
  • I let external negative energy affect my emotions and thoughts

From then on, i try not to be affected by what others said but i will take in all the good words and advises, and i also learn to be more flexible in the way i do things and manage to cultivate a more willingness to try mindset. Don't think about "What if i fail?", instead change your thought to "What if i didn't try?"

Your mind will always trick you to have the easy way out but the truth is that you are escaping the reality of chasing your dreams so put that little noise in you one side and start believing in yourself💪💪💪

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